I'm worse than a Tax Collector? Really?

So, I'm trying not to let this thing bother me.  It's a little thing.  A little thing that was done with no thoughts about me.  A little thing that was not intentional...certainly not done to hurt me or upset me in any way.  I'm usually pretty good about not taking offense where none was intended.  Life's too short to get your feelings hurt when nobody was even out to hurt them, right?  Life's too short to get your feelings hurt by something that was done thoughtlessly. 

I'm quite certain that I hurt people or offend people thoughtlessly.  I'd apologize, because I hate to be responsible for bringing negativity on someone else, but you can't apologize if you don't know.  That's the frustrating thing about thoughtlessness. It's just like insanity.  If you freaking KNEW you were being insane, you'd stop, but that's not how crazy works.  People who are crazy don't know it. And people who are thoughtless don't know it.  If they knew it, that would imply thought, which would thereby take them out of the Thoughtless category altogether, moving them on over to the Intentionally Mean category.

I don't think I'm hurt by this unintentional thing that was done.  I mean, it was done by someone I don't even know.  By someone who doesn't know me. There's no target on my head - nobody is being mean "to" me or anybody else.Yet, I'm bothered.  Annoyed.  Pondering. Ugh, and probably a little hurt, after all.  Because this has to do with children.  Inadvertently, with my children.

Here's the situation:
I moderate an inclusive homeschooling list.  I'd say about 99% of the members are Christian.  If you put Texas and Homeschooling together you get Christian Families. So to me, it makes sense that if you are Christian and you have your choice of ninety billion Christian homeschooling groups - and you choose to join the only inclusive group in the area to join - you are saying, "Hey, I'm Christian. But I don't care if you're not.  I don't care if your kids aren't religious.  We joined an inclusive group and we freaking EXPECTED to meet a few non-Christians and we're cool with that."

Now before I get to the actual little incident that's nagging at me, let me just say that most of the co-ops and organized activities that are discussed on this list are Christian in nature.  They'll say things like, "We're going to be using Christian themed lessons, or a Christian Worldview, or Evolution Will Not Be Discussed...." yada yada.  And that's okay, right? Because the next person might post that their group is going to be doing things from a Buddhist perspective.  That's what inclusive IS.  Of course, I've yet to see that happen...the Buddhist thing...but people know that it could happen, and wouldn't say anything if it did.  The groups that post are letting you know what you're going to get if you decide to attend so you're not surprised and uncomfortable once you get there. There are non-religious families doing things with religious groups within this inclusive list, believe me.  And it's not a problem. I personally do not attend these types of groups/events because they do tend to make me uncomfortable and I can do my socializing with the Christians in settings where it's the things we have in common that have drawn us together (of which there are usually plenty), and not the things that might tend to separate us. 

Last week someone posted an announcement that seemed different to me....a little out of place for an inclusive group....even though definitely acceptable according to our guidelines because hey, we have to include them, right?  Even if it's an openly exclusive group.

A woman posted a message about a teen homeschooling group.  It was a long message of the We're Going to Have So Much Fun!! variety.  She listed the things they'd be doing and they did, indeed, sound like typical fun teenager-ish things to do.  The types of things my kids and their friends do.  And even though I wasn't really interested in the group, because quite frankly, we've just got enough to do and enough people to do it with, I still became....offended? Irritated?  Hurt?...when the message ended with something along the lines of..."There is no statement of faith but..."

Ahhh...the But.  If you're unfamiliar with what a statement of faith is, it is a line that people have to sign or verbally agree with that usually states that the person signing or agreeing accepts Jesus Christ as his or her lord and savior.  Sometimes more detail is given as to EXACTLY what it means to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior.  In case you were under the impression you had done so but had still missed the mark in some way...like not understanding the terms "lord" or "savior" in the context of Christianity.  In case you've just been walking around mistaken about the whole thing (something I actually did for several years). 

Anyway, so people sign these things, and sometimes...if the group or association is big enough or organized enough to have really cool activities...well, I know a few people who sign the statement even though they don't agree with it.  Personally, I've got no problem with this.  Camille is a Scientologist, after all.  *Long story but let's just say it involves vaccinations and her desire to participate in a group activity that required her being vaccinated and did you know you can actually download a form stating that you don't vaccinate for religious reasons?  See?  I'm not kidding.  I've got no qualms.  Also?  Not that it's any of your business but there are specific reasons why Camille is not vaccinated and she's no danger to your kid if your kid is vaccinated because DUH your kid has been vaccinated so BACK OFF. 

Oh my, that's what Sardine Mama sounds like when she gets a bit defensive...now, where were we?

Oh yeah.  The woman who posted her exclusive activity on the inclusive homeschooling list...she's going on and on about how much fun they're going to have doing all kinds of non-religious types of activities like movies, parties, swimming, skating, games...and then states that there's no statement of faith but only families with Jesus in their hearts should attend. In other words, what she's saying is:  No Jews, Muslims, Pagans, Unitarians, Buddhists, Hindus or Atheists (and in some cases, depending on the particular brand of Christianity and why a statement of faith is sometimes helpful...no Catholics or Mormons) need apply.

Is it just me, or do you think Jesus is offended? I think he's offended. I mean, My God (literally), if this dude sat down with prostitutes and the dreaded tax collectors, don't you think he could stomach a few sardine teenagers at the skating rink?  And, if the stories about him are true, don't you think he WOULD? Like...joyfully?

WHY is this bothering me?  WHY do I care?  I'll tell you why.  Because I have 3 great non-religious teenagers.  I have 3 teenagers who will not make fun of you, talk behind your back, or exclude you even if you have this syndrome/disorder or that. They will not be unkind in any way.  I have 3 teenagers who go out of their way to include kids who might be a little different or quirky, who have been raised by the Golden Rule, and who understand what it means to be a friend, even during stormy adolescent times.  And they're somehow...what..not good enough to hang with these guys?  Not Christian enough. 

What does it mean to bowl as a Christian?  Do Christians bowl, skate, or play Monopoly differently than us? Well, I guess apparently some of them do.  Some of them do it exclusively, with their backs turned and their circles closed.  And that just doesn't seem very...Christian. And yet?  I expect it more from the Christians than I do the non-religious.  I have yet to meet a non-religious homeschooling family that excludes religious families from entering their social circles.  And yet it's the religious folks who own the market on Good and Kind.  Doesn't make much sense, does it?

You might say that parents have the right (and they do) to protect children from dangerous outside influences.  They have the right to protect their children from secular folks who might not subscribe to the same values.  Because we all know that the Christian Stamp means Good People, right?

Well, I don't think most parents are actually trying to protect their kids from Bad People as much as they're trying to protect them from considering that maybe not all non-Christians are bad...or that not all Christians are good.  That's really why they don't want their kids hanging out with mine.  What if their kids like mine?  What if their kids decide my kids are (gulp) good and decent even though they don't have Jesus in their hearts? What if they're forced to actually think about how a good and decent friend who they like a lot is DOOMED to eternal damnation?  And what if they do think about it and it doesn't make sense? And if that doesn't make sense, what if they start to think about other things and decide they don't make sense? What if they become actively engaged in discerning what their spirituality means and how they wish to apply it to their lives?

Okay.  Never mind.  I get it and she's right.  This could lead to all kinds of crazy sh*t. She really shouldn't let her kids skate with mine.  It could end Christianity as She Knows It.

Now if you're a Religious Type or the Church-Going President of the Sardines in a Can Fan Club....no need to comment that Not All Christians Are Like That. I know that already. Most of my friends are religious and obviously, they're not like that.  I get you. I understand you.  I don't always agree with you but I know where you're coming from and it's generally a pretty good place.  No need to defend the faith unless you just really want to, in which case you're completely entitled and feel free to have at it.

I feel much better now. Thanks for listening.
Signing Off as A Non-Christian But Pretty Decent Sort Anyway Sardine Mama