Saturday, February 22, 2014

Because I'm a Professional

This is awkward. It's been so long -- I feel as if we hardly know each other. We've drifted apart...people's not you, it's me...let's still be friends...oh wait- what am I doing? I ALMOST JUST BROKE UP WITH YOU GUYS.

So it has been a long time. I've been very busy with Facebook important projects and Twitter taking care of home and family. Also, remember that little novel I wrote? I whined about it all the time (I realize I whine with such regularity that you might need to concentrate in order to remember the novel-whining). I whined about writing it. I whined about editing it. I whined about revising it. I whined about querying it. I whined that it would never be published....GUESS WHAT?

It's under contract with a publisher. (I did not put an exclamation mark in that sentence because I'm totally calm, cool, and collected about all this and also my editor has made me terrified of exclamation marks - I wear this collar around my neck and when I type in an exclamation mark it shocks me.)

I'll tell you more as the release date approaches. In the meantime, I'm still the same person. I'll be blogging about writing at my new author website (possibly launching March 1, 2014). As for Sardines in a Can, it will remain the same old blog it's always been. I will, however, attempt to project a more professional image. No more exclamation marks!! A REDUCTION IN THE FREQUENCY OF ALL-CAPS!! No pictures of my kids or dogs!! No more making fun of Rick Perry!!

Let's start with Rick Perry. Actually, no, let's start with Greg Abbott, who is quite possibly/very likely going to be our next governor of this here Great State of Texas. The dude has been hanging with Ted Nugent. And people are all riled up about Ted Nugent because HE'S CRAZY. But personally, I love Ted and I love it even more when politicians use him to talk to The Commoners. I mean - gosh - it's just so uncomfortable and delightfully awkward. When Ted opens his mouth Abbott visibly can just see him praying Dear God please don't let him say anything about Mexicans or sweet poontang just let him talk about guns please please please please God - just guns. And maybe Obama. Guns and Obama. 

The family values gang loves Ted, too. He performs for crowds of rally-goers, folks with their hands in the air like they don't care, thoroughly enjoying their first concert experience, wondering when the next album will be out (never), and enjoying the lyrics about female genitalia while thinking about what a great role model Uncle Ted is for the kids.

We're going to be seeing more of Ted Nugent in Texas over the next few months and this makes me a happy girl. I realize there's something wrong with that.

Let's see - before I start projecting more professionalism, let's sneak in one more pet picture. This is my dog Napoleon.

And kids. I realize I never posted Joel's un-graduation photo on the blog (and there have been a few requests) so here it is. And yes, he's wearing a smoking jacket and ascot. Also - yes - that is a bearskin rug.
 "Putting the Class in 2013"

That's all I got for now, folks. It was great visiting with you again!!!. Let's stay in touch!!!.