Friday, July 4, 2008

Snakes, Grapes, and Purple Phones

OK - I swear I was sitting here thinking, "What am I going to write about? Nothing interesting has happened around here." I had resigned myself to writing about the following items:

1. Squished grapes all over my floor. And yes, I know the floor is the exact same one that is in the astronaut's kitchen in the movie Apollo 13. It has been here awhile:). Actually, while we were looking at new floors, we discovered this SAME ONE (also in avocado) at Lowe's. It is "retro". I have been complaining about this floor for forever. Now I am thinking it might be funny to replace it with a newer version of itself. Not funny enough, though.
2. My new purple phone! This is a very cute phone. I was previously the owner of a larger, older, clunkier and far-less-attractive phone, known as the Fred Flintstone phone. This one is now programmed with various Chili Pepper ringtones, depending upon who is calling. I feel more popular, already.

3. Schnitzel's Surgery. She had a cyst removed from her ankle and her teeth were also cleaned. She seems to be very uncomfortable. She slept with me last night and moaned and whined throughout the night. It is almost time for her to take another pain pill. See her bandage? Poor baby.

Anyway, so this was all you were going to get; grape, phone, dog boo-boo - when suddenly THIS happened...Camille came running in the house screaming her head off....followed by this!

Yay! The blog is saved by a snake. Leave it to Joel to provide entertainment/horror. Ellie was working outside in the front beds, getting ready to spread some mulch. She often will remove her iPod - walk into the living room and announce she needs to be with nature and live like Thoreau....then she will piddle about for a few minutes outside before coming back in to replace the buds in her ears. So she was happily communing with nature when the snake startled her. She was accused of screaming to which she replied, "He jumped at me! What was I supposed to do?" Snakes are known for their impressive skills at jumping. Ellie even took a turn holding the snake and just as she said, "Ohhh....I like this snake! We are friends!" he moved or something and she tossed him up in the air and he landed on his back with a small thud on the table. So much for friendship. Ellie is currently back outside digging in the dirt (more gingerly).

Speaking of Ellie and Thoreau, and noticing Martin Luther King on Joel's T-shirt, I must add a Gandhi story here. Can you see the thread? My mind works in mysterious ways....Thoreau influenced Gandhi, Gandhi influenced MLK, Ellie is just plain easily here is the story:

We were driving in the car and Ellie was saying how she wants to live simply and become even more of a minimalist than she already is (and she is a big minimalist compared to most kids her age). Anyway, so we're driving and she says in all earnestness, "Mom, I want to be like Gandhi. Oh look! A Starbucks! Stop and get me a latte." That just cracked me up. Gandhi holding a $5 cup of latte.

Happy 4th of July! We are looking forward to having some friends and family over tonight. TONS of housework to do first, though. I don't know why - everyone who is coming regularly sees my wreck of a house but whenever they are coming for an "official" occasion I feel I must clean! Maybe I will take some before and after pics.
Yesterday Camille asked me what the 4th celebrates. We were in the car. I told her, "We used to have a king who told us what to do and now we don't so we celebrate." End of story. That is what the 4th kid gets. The older kids got the full unabridged response to every question. When they were Camille's age they were reciting the Declaration of Independence and had been studying the revolution for weeks leading up to the frivolity. And you know what? They don't seem any smarter than Camille. I now have way less energy and have to be more selective about what I waste it on.
Birthday parties around here have also suffered from my energy drain. Man, I used to throw some totally ridiculous parties! When Joel turned 8 he had a Native American party (can I say Indian Party?). He was required to research tribes and was very knowledgeable about the Indian families that lived right here - literally right here, we find arrowheads. It was fun and kept us occupied. When the big day arrived, all the neighboring chiefs came over to celebrate. They had been assigned tribes, were dressed in Indian clothing, bearing gifts to trade....and they were required to deliver a small, education report (how obnoxious, right?). We had games to play and each time a guest completed a game (these were real games we had researched) they received another feather for their peace sticks, which were used to chase and bludgeon each other. When we finally sat in the sacred circle around the fire I couldn't help but notice several sagging loin cloths. Ellie had noticed too, and had taken to hiding indoors. Anyway, when it came time to stand in the center and give a report, one little guest who was wearing a paper grocery bag said, "I don't have a report and my mom said if you pull this crap next year we're not coming." Geeze. Some people just don't get it.
OH!! One more thing and please respond: Can you guys see the sardine can on the right of the blog? Some people are saying they can only see half of it. Let me know! Even if you don't usually respond or I don't know you :)
Well, I am off to do some frantic cleaning and I see that Jasper just spit on Ellie and now he's chasing Joel with a rake...GOTTA GO!
Red, White and Blue Sardine Mama


  1. I'm missing about a quarter of an inch of the sardine can (a little bit of Camille and Jules heads). It doesn't seem to have moved, it seems like the graphic for mysteriously bigger.

    I LOVE the gandhi story!! and the Native American Birthday party too for that matter, my parents used to do stuff like that.

    (dude! the little security word I have to type in so that I post this comment is "woekzs" normally I'm not fond of the random security words but this one I like).

  2. i see the whole can. oh, i was amused by the irony of this post. i guess when we're younger we don't see the contradictions sometimes. actually, i'm sure i don't even see mine!

  3. I am missing the same amount of the can as hannah. I can probably fix this for you, although it might mess up other things, but we can experiment. I will bring my HTML books and pretend like I know what I am doing--give me something to do at your party so I don't get roped in to giving a report on what Independence Day means :)


  4. Oh, Carol--when I got to the part about Ghandi and a Starbuck's latte, I burst out laughing. Then the Native American birthday party cracked me up. My husband came in from the other room to see what was so funny; I read it aloud and he had a good laugh, too. We've both been working way too hard, so thank you for that. I've added a link to your blog from mine, so you can expect to find a sudden boost in your readership by oh, a half dozen or so.

    Alas, I have only the one child who was sole beneficiary of the kind of earnest and inspired parenting you describe. I sure hope she'll be able to laugh about it later in life...

    Still smiling,


  5. It is missing part of Camille and Jules heads. I use firefox normally but checked it in my explorer and am missing the same amount in both.

  6. Oh, thanks a lot for sharing the now-famous Ghandi Story with the world, Mom. Like you hadn't told enough people already...