Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Typical or Titillating? Your Choice.

'Tis Tuesday. Just a typical Tuesday. Typical. Tuesday. That's kinda cute in a bloggish sort of way. You know how some people do the Wordless Wednesday thing? Maybe I could do Typical Tuesday. Hmmm..... Or maybe Tirade Tuesday? That sounds more exciting. Or Tuesday's Tirade? OR to use my favorite word - "Titillating" Tuesday? Let me evaluate this.

What would I write about that? It is a typical Tuesday. Ellie had homeschooled piano students over. So that was a blending of dressed, bathed, and awake-and-already-at-piano-lessons homeschoolers with my crew of pajama-clad but slightly awake and wandering aimlessly or still dressed from yesterday but sound asleep in bed homeschoolers. The two groups find each other fascinating.

I should be at the store - I do that on Typical Tuesday. But I truly hate going to the grocery store. Hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it. Sometimes I just go in and put like one thing in my cart and get all depressed over what all I still have to load in the cart and then I just want to curl up and take a nap which is what I usually do when I'm overwhelmed only they frown upon that in the grocery store. Camille and Jasper usually accompany me to the grocery store and that is unpleasant at best and miserable at worst. I buy them donuts from the bakery which I remember to pay for over half of the time (yay for me!). I could go on and on about the grocery store but let me just say that there is a dent in the steel post by the "buddy buck" machine and it is from my forehead. The "buddy buck" machine is a torture device where children repeatedly stick little paper dollars into a slot so that the machine can pick up a little plastic bubble with a sticker on it and drop it down the chute for the kid to pick up. There is always a line at the buddy buck machine. The little paper "bucks" rarely go in the first time and they are being pushed in by pudgy little hands that belong to people screaming, "No! I want to do it myself!" If the buck does go in, the machine has to make several attempts at picking up a bubble - and all of this is while my groceries are thawing.

The other thing I do on Typical Tuesday is take Camille to dance class. The first Tuesday of the month is Watch Day at dance class. I know this is horrible but I hate Watch Day. It just isn't all that entertaining. OK - so it was with Ellie since she is my first born and everything she did/does is new and exciting and garners all my attention. But Camille is the 4th kid and hasn't managed to pull a new trick out of her hat, yet. I am tired of acting excited about successful somersaults.

Last Tuesday we got a preview of the dance costumes. This is very exciting for most of the moms, but not even vaguely "titillating" for me. I rarely participate in the costume discussion but I did put my foot down at the suggestion of changing from nude to white tights between sets. The other women were surprised to hear the sound of my voice since I rarely open my mouth about the costumes. I just quietly stated that I refused to change tights and that was that and now we're going with nude tights. Since that went over so well I also went way outside of my comfort zone and boycotted the fairy wings in favor of a tiara.
a) wings are a pain in the a**
b) wings often come with glitter
c) i hate glitter
d)I LOVE tiaras. If I could get by with wearing one on a regular basis I really, really would do so. I can trace this tiara fixation back to my teenage years when my parents refused to let me try out for Peanut Queen (yes, I said peanut) because they didn't want to deal with the responsibilities that went along with serving in such a royal capacity for an entire year. And now I am crippled with a tiara fetish. I want one. A pretty sparkly one. Whenever I see young royal teenagers (whether it be the Pickle Princess or the Turnip Queen) I want to go and rip the tiaras from their up-do's and stick them on my more deserving and slightly graying head.

The dancers will wear tiaras (no fairy wings). I think the mothers of the dancers should wear tiaras, too, and I just might suggest that today at dance class.

OK so then home to dinner and laundry and blah blah blah ....Typical Tuesday.

Let's try a TIRADE TUESDAY on for size.

Now that the election is over I am having a hard time getting worked up. I'm not sure I can get motivated enough to go on an actual tirade. Think think think think think...

I've got it!! Poor customer service. Let me do a quick smear. I have had two less than acceptable experiences in a row at La Madeleine's, recently. And I hate that because La Madeleine's is a cool place to go and have a cup of coffee and an eclair with friends without the stress and pressure to empty a table. You can just sit next to the fire and visit as long as you'd like. Except that the last two times I've gone they haven't had eclairs, which I like almost as much as tiaras. As a matter of fact, I would love to eat an eclair while wearing a tiara. But I digress....the hubby and I went into La Madeleine's and suffered through the usual brief confusion about where to order....entrees at the first register, other stuff (like the spinach pochette I always get) at the counter. When we sat down we were startled by a loud noise and looked up to see a very angry cook purposefully slamming pans around while muttering to himself. He was TOTALLY worked up. The next thing we noticed was a blond girl stomping around the tables slapping a wet rag across their surfaces and angrily scraping chairs across the floor while muttering to herself. This went on the entire time we were there and so much for a nice, relaxing ambiance. The manager was nervously skittering about acting like he couldn't see it.

The icing on the cake was the cook slamming Jeff's entree onto the counter and hammering on the bell. The blond girl purposefully ignored him and the bell. We waited and waited and waited and nobody ever went to get Jeff's plate. I finally got up (Jeff was willing to wait it out and see who would finally be forced to pick up the plate but I was no longer enjoying myself). I went to the counter and picked up the plate. I commented to the angry cook that it had been sitting up there quite awhile and he glared at me and said, "Do you want me to heat it up?" and I said no because I wanted to get out of there.

Would you believe we went back? And it was the same cook, minus the blond girl, and the cook was in a good mood and very quietly cooking up a storm. But when I went to order the Field Greens salad, I was quite shocked to see wilted and slimy greens sitting in the bowl. I pointed it out to the server who made a face and said, "Gross," and then asked me if I wanted any. I obviously chose something else, but pointed out the disgusting greens to another employee who said, "I know, I wonder how long they've been there." The spinach pochette was cool and the desert I got (noel cake) was stale.

So I am sad to say we will not be going back to La Madeleine's unless they offer me some kind of incentive which is unlikely at this point because I have wasted all this energy on the blog post and now am too tired to write an official letter of complaint.

So that is my tirade. What was my third option for Tuesday? Oh yes. Titillating. I'm still reading the Anita Blake Vampire Executioner series. I'm on Narcissus in Chains. Anita has added a FOURTH man to the mix. Well, he is only a man part of the time. His name is Micah and he is a wereleopard. He is a fine addition to Jeane Claude the vampire, Richard the werewolf, and Nathanial (also a wereleopard). There is also Asher and Damian (both vamps) but they have yet to get in on any official action. So that would be it for titillating.

That's it for Tuesday! Let me hear from you! Shall it be Typical, Tirade, or Titillating?

Much Love from your Typically Titillating Tyrannical Sardine Mama


  1. what the HELL is a wereleopard???!!!! never in my life have i heard such a word. i guess i can't say that anymore. :P

    hm... i guess my Tuesday was a mix of all 3. typical because i had to go to St. Philip's, a tirade because i had finals (ugh), and titillating becasue i'm finally done with my English class and i got some wicked awesome books at Half-Price. :D does that count? o.O

  2. Well, that depends on how excited you were by the books you bought. If you felt you were titillated then it was, indeed, a titillating experience.

    Oh yes! There are wereleopards, wererats (the king is Rafael), weresnakes, werelions....the whole bit. It is almost too much but what the heck.

  3. Seriously...wereleopard? Talk about putting the vamp back in vampire. That is just weird.

  4. Weird and sexy. In human form Nathanial the Wereleopard has violet eyes and long auburn hair past his waist...you know...if you like that sort of thing. Is it hot in here? I'm going to open a window.

  5. Ha, a fellow grocery store hater! Hurray! Mine was typical because it also included grocery store shopping. However, it does not include this buddy buck bubble machine (it sounds like I should be glad!)

  6. My Tuesday was not typical because we spent most of it at the dentist's and I had to skip Latin class.
    There wasn't anything to tirade about... beyond the normal.
    But it was titillating because I finished and sent in all the quizzes I needed for Latin to catch up! Yayeth! (I hate being behind especially in Latin so this is pretty awesome)

  7. ok so i loved every minute of being at Half-Price, and books always make me happy, so it indeed was titillating. ;)

    that's just too many "were's" for my taste. just stick to vampires and wolves for crying out loud!