Sunday, November 22, 2009

This Here's My Opinion

So - I've been meaning to write this post for awhile. In fact, it has been such awhile that it is bordering on irrelevant - except that it isn't really. Ever. Irrelevant.

Here Goes:

This is to the Texan Guy who called in to NPR in regards to Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize (and no, this post isn't about the Nobel Peace Prize). Mr. Speakin' for All of Texas - I won't quote you per say - 'cause I was driving and all and didn't write down word for word what you said. And what you said was a quickie - you just left a message that they played back on the air - don't even remember which show....All Things Considered, maybe? Anyway, you said (and I am paraphrasing here) that here in Texas, we can't stand Obama. I do know that you used the words "can't stand" and "we" and "Texas" and "Obama". So maybe I got it down just right, after all.

I am fine if you can't stand Obama. Really. I am. More power to you and all that. But you didn't say that you, personally, as in, I Am Only Speaking For Myself, couldn't stand Obama. You said "we". And buddy? You don't speak for me. In fact, you spoke kinda funny. Suspiciously funny. Like maybe you weren't born and raised right here in the Lone Star State. Course I can't prove that. And there ain't nothing wrong with that. Some of my best friends are transplants and (ahem - I am whispering now) my daddy is a former Yankee.

But me? Born and raised here. And I'll die here. 'Cause Texas is Totally The Best State in the Entire World. I bet you and I could agree on that one. Although, I'm also bettin' that you think Texas would be a bit better without the likes of me. And that's where we're different.

Here in San Antonio, we have a right neat place called The Institute of Texan Cultures. Cultures. With an "s". As in plural. 'Cause, dude, there is more than one. And there's gonna be more than one way of lookin' at things, considerin' problems, and findin' solutions. That means that some of us voted for Obama, and some of us voted for that other gal - the one with the colorful family values - and the old guy who mistakingly chose her as his running mate and is seriously regretting it.

Anyway - Mr. Speakin' For All of Texas.....This here's my front yard:

And this here's my mama and my granddaddy.

And they ain't riding for show, neither. See them cows back there? See them chaps? When's the last time you wore chaps, Mr. Speakin' For All of Texas? By the way, we called my granddaddy "Daddy Jim". That's what all of his kids and his grandkids called him because we are That Kind of Texas.

You don't speak for me, Mr. Speakin' For All of Texas. And I would never in a million years dream of speakin' for you. Because you have your own voice and are entitled to it 100%. You see, I don't want to take that away from you. I want your voice here. I want everyone's voices here. 'Cause this here's a big state and all. We need lots of voices. Please don't presume you can be any more Texan than me by drowning out my voice. 'Cause, Buddy? There ain't nobody more Texan than me. And I support my President. And I also support your right to not do the same. That there idea, which came down from the Greeks, is what we like to call a democracy. It is all about everybody havin' a voice and all. As opposed to, let's say....a dictator.

It is also a little bit of common courtesy. Which is nice to have in the old Friendship State. It is the kind of courtesy you don't find at them fancy tea parties in which you're probably participatin'. We have tea parties here on our ranch. We invite our friends, even the ones with bumper stickers that do not quite gel with our own. We hold our little pinkies out and say please and thank you and would you please pass the sugar. No swastikas at our tea burning effigies....none of that there nonsense.

But Mr. Speakin' For All of Texas? I support your right to your kinda tea party. I won't go....'cause I am of a more genteel nature and all.....but if anybody tries to take away your right to congregate and hold ridiculous signs.....I will be the first person to call in and tell 'em to leave you the hell alone. This here's a big state, like I said. And there's room for all of us.

But you don't speak for me. Let's just be clear on that.

And for governor? I betcha you're going for that Good Old Boy, Rick Perry. Good for you. I love Good Old Boys. I even dated one named Bubba, once. That boy was smooth as velvet on a sawdust dance floor and some kinda wicked fun at a pasture party, let me tell ya. But for governor? I'm votin' for that there Palestinian fella. The one who invented the Chi Flat Iron he manufactures right here in Texas. Because I love my Chi. Anyone who can straighten out my massive mess of hair could certainly straighten out Texas.

Signing off as The Lone Star Mama


  1. I don't have a Chi, I have another kind. But I would totally vote for the guy who could straighten my hair.

  2. I think this is your best post ever :) Thanks for speaking for this here Texan (going back at least 5 generations, back to before Texas was a country...)

  3. Excellent post, Carol, from a proud Yankee who is very happy to call Texas my home.

  4. I enjoyed reading this post! I'm surprised they would play something like that one the air.

    I wanna come to one of your Tea Parties!!!


  5. Here, Here! I raise a frosty cold Shiner Beer to ya! THANK YOU! Very well said my dear! I am much obliged to ya for setting the record straight! :)

  6. You're welcome. And Michi - we're mighty happy to have you, here.

  7. First time commenter....long time lurker ;} L-O-V-E-D this post, def one of my favorites. Always enjoy your point-of-view.
    Dee Pipes Oliver