Saturday, November 6, 2010

The People Have Spoken (without commenting, of course)

Okay, so I've taken pity on you people. That's right. I heard your silent protest...(and thanks, Mark, for my one and only comment...I appreciate the loyalty, brotha). So this post? Short and sweet. And with pictures for you slow readers.

I'm trying to get into a routine. I still haven't settled into one, and the school year, such as it is, is half over. I haven't been able to get up super early all year, and getting up super early is necessary or I start off trying to catch up all day and I hate it when that happens. The two little people get up super early...before me...and that nonsense has to stop. I need to be the first player on the field. The big boys (and that includes the dog), don't get up until lunch is ready...and that nonsense has to stop, too.

I TRY to get them up, and they fake me out by sitting up in bed and mumbling, but as soon as I leave they flop back down and do this.

When they finally crawl out of bed, they claim I never tried to wake them up. Now Ellie? She's up and about early because she looks down on slacking. In general. I figured that went without saying.

Ranger takes up most of Jasper's bed...but that's no problem-O because Jules fixed him a hammock out of a blanket. Am I the only one who notices that the blanket looks an awful lot like Ranger? See him sleeping behind Jasper?

So we did the Halloween thing. We took a couple's picture of Ellie and Cody (also known as Plain Jane and Plain John...look at the group photo).
And we took a couple's picture of Joel and Alyssa (yes, Joel is still rocking the Slash t-shirt....he takes it off to wash it). And Jules felt left out so we took a picture of him and Dave. Dave was initially Joel's friend....but Joel traded up for Alyssa.
Joel cheerfully let Jules wear Dave (a REALLY expensive mask). He and Alyssa went to a live performance of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, where he was appropriately traumatized. While they were waiting in line a happy camper gave him a Rice Krispie treat and Alyssa took it from him and said, "Don't eat that..." Thank you, Alyssa.

We headed out to trick-or-treat with the little people and their friends...starting at my sister's house. Here is Harlan sitting in her living room....her resident ghost was well-behaved for the evening. Harlan asked his mom for 2 yards of white fabric and he came up with this! (Sorry this is fuzzy - I basically suck at working my camera)

So that is basically IT. I'm not saying any more. I'm totally, entirely, done. Seriously. I'm not going to whine about how much driving I've been doing because Ellie's pimp car is broken down again and how even TODAY (a Saturday)...I had to get up in the middle of the night to take her to a local high school to take her SAT Subject tests that are required of homeschoolers...or how I took her to piano and to the hand doctor and shopping for sweaters...(I'd tell you that the sweater shopping was for our upcoming trip to Rochester and Oberlin but I don't want to risk overwhelming you with too many details). Later today I have to take Joel to guitar lessons....and earlier in the week we had an orthodontist appointment and of course, jazz and ballet....I don't even know how many miles I put on the bus (we live approximately NOWHERE NEAR any of the above-mentioned places). Anyway, I won't bore you with all of that.

Now on all of these runs I'm not talking about? Jules and Jasper refuse to go. They are total hermits. They never want to leave the house. Ever. Since Jules is forced to get out twice a week for Odyssey and Chess Club...I let him off the hook. But Jasper? Has no activities, doesn't want any activities, and I'm seriously concerned about the onset of agoraphobia.

I'm always like, Dude, come to the store with me! I'll buy you a doughnut.

Jasper: Just bring me a doughnut.

Me, checking Jasper for signs of lichens and moss growing on his backside: "No, come with me! It'll be fun! We'll listen to R.E.M.!

Jasper considers it, because he loves R.E.M.
Me: Come on! Grab your spine and your orange crush! You can't always stand in the place where you live, dude. It'll be awesome....Night Swimming...Day Sleeping...Come on....seriously....I'm losin' my religion over here.

Jasper: you know where any socks are?

Me: Never mind. Because I would rather walk across hot coals than search for clean socks.

But last week? He INSISTED on going with me to take Camille to ballet. And, even though I'm not going to tell you about it, let me just say that this totally sucked because while I whine about taking Camille to dance (because I totally deserve to whine, that's why) I secretly "enjoy it" (I am so glad I'm not sharing this with you) because I go and hang out in a coffee shop where I am considered a "regular" and where "other regulars" know not to sit in my seat. And while I'm there I write smut and consume caffeine and it is all great fun. Taking Jasper? Not great fun. But I occasionally take Joel and/or Jules and they both dig hanging out in the coffee shop reading graphic novels (teen porn). And Jasper wanted his turn. And I won't go into our conversation because I'm trying to keep it short but it went something like this:

Me: Dude, I'm in there a really long time. Two hours. That is like 4 episodes of Spiderman.

Jasper: Dude, that's not long at all. I hear there's hot cocoa there and I'm going.

Me: I'll take you to guitar lessons, that's only 30 minutes.

Jasper: Is there hot cocoa there?
Me: Dang.

So Jasper brought one Spiderman book that he can't read, one piece of blank paper, and one brown crayon. Approximately 3.7 seconds of entertainment. When we got there? To my perfect little coffee shop where I'm kind of like Norm on Cheers (or my friend Kari walking into a tattoo parlor) and everybody knows my name? Actually, they don't know my name, but they darn well know where I like to sit and that is way more important. Anyway, it was FULL of irregular people as opposed to the regular people and one of them was in my chair and I was forced to sit at a table in the middle of the room where everyone who walks by can read over my shoulder and see that I'm writing smut.

Luckily for me....I had JASPER with me and he was high-maintenance and needy-in-general and requiring massive amounts of attention once he had flipped through his book and drawn a circle on his piece of paper. So there was no smut-writing....and Jasper did impress me by effectively throwing the evil eye for over thirty minutes solid at the guy reading a book IN MY CHAIR.

Anyway, so yeah, I've been driving a lot and that's all. Aren't you glad I didn't bore you with the details?


  1. I love your long posts. I adore the details. I read every one, even though I don't follow any blogs anymore.
    I just don't usually comment because I'm lazy.
    I know that comments are like tips, and you should always leave one - especially when you have enjoyed yourself.
    I suppose in addition to being lazy, I'm cheap.
    This comment had made me feel so good about myself.

  2. ooh, i'm cheap and lazy, too. also, i just figured out how to make my children go away. that was awesome.

  3. Hi! Looks like it has been a fun week or two.

    I haven't been reading any blogs this week, and hardly any last week. So bizzzy!

    But HI!

  4. I have to admit, when I got done reading the first paragraph my main thought was "ooohh, there will be pictures!"

    I'm still eager to see Ellie's pumpkin, guessing you didn't get a shot of it all lit up at Janet's house?

    I think that I too was Traumatized by Rocky Horror. I totally ate my rice krispy though (it was attached to a "please vote for me" notice so I figure it was legit).

    Ellie has totally confided in me that she's going to start sleeping in until 7:30, so at least your competition won't be as rough on that end. It is awful trying to get up when the sun is still down though, next week (day light savings baby!!!) will be better!

    Love and miss you guys!

  5. Aww...gee...thanks guys. For the comments. And excuses about previous lack of commenting.

  6. I post comments sometimes! But MY excuse is that sometimes it gets complex trying to figure out the word verification thing that sometimes doesn't even give me a word to type in and then gets mad at me for not typing it in the invisible word properly and then I give up. But I always love your posts! :)

  7. RIGHT, Amy? The stupid word verification thing is acting stupid. Stupid thing. I'm looking at it right now and it says "visual stupid verification" and there is no stupid word. I just submit the comment anyway - then it tells me that I didn't type in the stupid non-existent verification word but TA-DA! then it gives me one and then I type it in and this has become my stupid routine.

  8. My eldest did that whole "no entertainment" thing to me on Friday. We had an entire hour in an empty room while his brother had scouts and he brought NOTHING. No toy, no Nintendo, No book,no paper. I was petrified. Surprisingly, he didn't whine once. I don't expect that to happen again anytime soon.

  9. Sorry, too, for leaving you in the lurch, comment-wise! I'll try to make sure it never happens again. (That's not me saying it'll never happen again, that's me saying, I'll TRY. This is a big step for me! Not that this is about me, it's actually meant to be about YOU, so I'll stop talking about me and continue to talk about you). I love your words, the long, thin, slimy ones,short, fat, juicy ones,
    itsy, bitsy, fuzzy ones, ones that wiggle and squirm. So please carry on doing what you do and I'll carry on reading about what you do (and commenting!) and everything should go swimmingly! :)
    Loved what you didn't write about going to the coffee shop and what you didn't write about your conversations with your boy. Classic.

  10. Now you see who your real friends are. I'm not going anywhere.
    Your Friend, m.
    p.s. That word verification thing does suck.

  11. Hi~
    I don't ever comment because, well I don't actually know you, so that just seemed weird. Then again, maybe the weird part is that I'm reading the blog of someone I don't actually know, and laughing, and crying along the way as if I do know you. But I do. I think I came across your blog on a late night hunt for homeschooling ideas, and I was hooked. I love good story tellers, and you are an incredible story teller. You are always apologizing for the length or wordiness of your post but I think that's what separates them from other blogs. The details bring your stories to life, they aren't just a list of facts. Anyway, I've taken enough of your time. I was so afraid you were going to say you were going to stop that I had to comment. ~Carri

  12. I nearly forgot what I was going to say because I got so overwhelmed by all the details that were slipped into this post by stealth. I kept thinking, my, this is such a short little post, and then there was more.

    Just recently I was wondering, is it time? To let my teenage kids know about the Rocky Horror Picture Show? I almost was thinking it would be fun to take them, but then I thought, that would be too weird to have their mom take them to watch it. I have to draw the line at "Hair." No, Rocky Horror is something they have to discover on their own.

    I don't get the Rice Krispies treat thing. Is it spiked with something illicit or what?