Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Spills, Internal vs External Controls, Anxiety on the Toilet

Ellie comes home today! Yay! The team placed 11th at the World Tournament!

I suspect our princess will be cranky and tired. She will also not be liberally forthcoming with information. Like her dad, she does not believe in using any words that are not absolutely necessary. When she came back from London we were like, "How was it?" and she was like, "Fine." So I will have to extract information, somewhat painfully, over the next few days.

We just got back from Tae Kwon Do. Usually Ellie babysits while I take the boys to this class, because it lasts 1 1/2 hours and I just sit in the car. But today I had to take the two little ones and what fun that was! Jasper needed to go to the bathroom so we drove to a convenience store. While in the bathroom, Camille decided she needed to go. Then I decided I needed to go. This bathroom had no stalls - just a room with a toilet and a sink with a door that opened up into the store. The doorknob unlocked when you opened it from the inside. I HATE THIS SITUATION. The local library is set up the same way. You have never experienced true anxiety until you have sat on a toilet, facing a door while a young child continues to gently run his hands over the doorknob again and again and again......of course, the tension this causes makes it difficult to end the agony by finishing up. When that experience was over we headed to the car "fully loaded with snacks and supplies" as the Chili Peppers would say. Jasper spilled his chocolate milk while I was buckling him into his carseat. While I was fussing at him about this and feeling sorry for myself while thinking about how I could have quit at 2 kids and be at home arranging flowers or something instead of cleaning up chocolate milk - I spilled my coffee all over myself. I love these little wake-up calls. The Universe's little way of reminding me that anyone can spill milk, I am lucky to have ALL of my great kids, and it is very unlikely I would ever, in a million years, spend my spare time arranging flowers.

We are back home and the 3 youngest are back in the splashy pool. Joel is back on the computer, playing some mythology game he has become obsessed with. I am dreading the return of the PS2 - they broke their old one and a new one should be arriving today : (. I know this will spur an intense obsession with PS2 because the boys haven't played in a long time. I let them play, though. They will eventually tire of it and then they'll be back to disappearing for hours and hours and hours on our farm, fishing in the pond, climbing trees, playing in the cattle pens, working in the garden.....I try to give them as much control over their own lives as possible, while keeping an ongoing conversation running about how we spend our time and how we feel after doing certain activities (Joel is always lethargic and moody after hours on the computer). I am hoping that in the long run - their own internal controls will kick in. The external controls (mom and dad) only work as long as the external controls are around. The internal controls make more sense. I think some kids never learn internal control because they are so dependent upon the external ones....

Enough about that for now. Maybe tomorrow I will talk more about parenting without limits/punishments - how I feel about the reality of it versus the philosophy of it......would love to hear from others about this.

As soon as I can figure it out - I'll be linking to Amazon. There are some great books on the subject.

I am so excited Ellie is coming home! AND she is bringing my flat iron with her!! I have very curly, unruly hair and rely on my flat iron. Ellie has very very short hair and only straightens the front bangs which hang in her face. But she couldn't go to Worlds without the flat iron to perform this ritual. This is her only girlie ritual (if you could call it that) - no make-up, nail polish, I felt I couldn't refuse. But I will be glad to have some control over my hair, again.

Oh! And congratulations to Janet on the homebirth of her little baby boy! I cannot wait to see him and hear the story. And JoDee - I saw you popped in on my blog : ). It is true that you heard me say that Van Halen is the best band that ever was - but that was during a momentary lapse into nostalgia brought on by the reuinion concert (I'm wearing my t-shirt right now). The Chili Peppers are the best band that ever was or ever will be : ). I value your opinions, though, because you truly play a mean guitar. The last time you were over here playing I said to your kid (the one with the really long hair and sandals) "Dude, your mom plays good." And he was like, "I know, right?"

I do really wish I was gong to see Tom Petty, though. But one can only waste so much money on concert tickets while raising 5 kids and tring to feed and clothe them all. And feeding them has become expensive! Maybe tomorrow I will also talk about rising food costs and the world food shortage.....
Sardine Mama


  1. Hey Mom,

    So...I hate to break it to you and all, but at Worlds I heard a rumor that the Chili Peppers split up. (At least, that's what John said). I understand how this must stress you out, considering they're the best band in the world (not), but I thought I'd mention it on here, instead of having a face to face confrontation. I'm a bit afraid of what your reaction will be...

    Anywho, I like your blog, keep up the good work...

  2. They are only breaking up for a year to take a break!

  3. wow... you have a lot to follow up on... can't wait! come on by & see babe if you're in the neighborhood. i'd love to see you!