Dearest Sardine Mama : The Movie?

OK - I told them I'd do it someday! My bags are packed and I am kicking this can. Nobody believed I'd really leave.....

But I am ready to leave for the conference. And I know I said I wouldn't post until I got back. But a terrifying thought just occurred to me! (That's right - another one). I am going to be passing out cards with my blog address on them. What if SOMEBODY ACTUALLY READS THE BLOG? I mean, somebody besides my friends and the poor souls just trying to Google sardine recipes? What will they see? Will they see something awesome or amazing or interesting? No. They will see a picture of turkey bones and a description of our thrilling morning performing chemistry experiments. AAGGHH! Why couldn't my last post have been the one about the benefits of cannibalism? Why? I need to think up something quick. Something shocking. Something "Howard Sternish". I know! Some Mommy Bloggers go for the shock jock angle. Hmmmm....how about this? How about I say something like, "Breastfeeding in public disgusts me!!!" These types of statements get gazillions and trazillions of comments. Or how about, "The schools could all be fixed if we bring God and the Paddle back into the classrooms". What do you think of those? Pretty good?

Why am I doing this to myself, anyway? What could possibly come out of my writing a book about raising sardines? Well, for one thing - future revenue for the sardines. Seriously. Not from my book royalties, mind you. Theirs. Just think about the sheer volume of Mommy Dearest books my five kids can produce as soon as their little flippers are big enough to propel them onto the therapist's couch. You see what I mean? We're talking books AND the lecture circuit. We're talking Oprah. Ellie's probably writing hers already.

OK - I have my focus back. I'm going to the conference with confidence. I'm doing it for the kids.

Sardine Mama