Friday, June 20, 2008

Dearest Sardine Mama : The Movie?


OK - I told them I'd do it someday! My bags are packed and I am kicking this can. Nobody believed I'd really leave.....
But I am ready to leave for the conference. And I know I said I wouldn't post until I got back. But a terrifying thought just occurred to me! (That's right - another one). I am going to be passing out cards with my blog address on them. What if SOMEBODY ACTUALLY READS THE BLOG? I mean, somebody besides my friends and the poor souls just trying to Google sardine recipes? What will they see? Will they see something awesome or amazing or interesting? No. They will see a picture of turkey bones and a description of our thrilling morning performing chemistry experiments. AAGGHH! Why couldn't my last post have been the one about the benefits of cannibalism? Why? I need to think up something quick. Something shocking. Something "Howard Sternish". I know! Some Mommy Bloggers go for the shock jock angle. Hmmmm....how about this? How about I say something like, "Breastfeeding in public disgusts me!!!" These types of statements get gazillions and trazillions of comments. Or how about, "The schools could all be fixed if we bring God and the Paddle back into the classrooms". What do you think of those? Pretty good?


Why am I doing this to myself, anyway? What could possibly come out of my writing a book about raising sardines? Well, for one thing - future revenue for the sardines. Seriously. Not from my book royalties, mind you. Theirs. Just think about the sheer volume of Mommy Dearest books my five kids can produce as soon as their little flippers are big enough to propel them onto the therapist's couch. You see what I mean? We're talking books AND the lecture circuit. We're talking Oprah. Ellie's probably writing hers already.


OK - I have my focus back. I'm going to the conference with confidence. I'm doing it for the kids.

Sardine Mama

13 comments:

  1. I wish you all the best and am thinking good thoughts for you.

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  2. have a great time!!! make it at least fun 4 urself...

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  3. You're going to be great! Just think about how nice it will be to have conversations with adults. You won't have any children spitting on you, asking where something is, griping about their siblings, etc., etc., etc. . .

    Don't work yourself into a frenzy about what may or may not happen. Enjoy the time away and the experience of being there. You're a talented writer. You just need a little patience. (cue Guns n Roses here)

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  4. aaahhhh!!!!! Guns N' Roses!! one of the greatest '80's rock bands of all time!

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  5. Juliana - yes! and remember when we saw that girl at the skating rink that looked like Axel Rose?

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  6. At least Juliana said "one of the greatest '80's rock bands of all time!" Not "the greatest band ever"! :)

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  7. That's because she was talking about Guns 'N Roses and not Red Hot Chili Peppers DUH

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  8. no, THE GREATEST band of all time is U2! that is my input on the whole situation. sorry miss carol

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  9. oh and yes i do remember the girl at the skating rink. she was cool. i would also like to mention that while we were in MD John looked like Axl once his hair was straightened.
    -julihana

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  10. Finally! Someone who knows what she is talking about! Tommy and I can get on board with U2 being the greatest band ever. Not that Red Hot Chili Pepper nonsense!

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  11. OK - I was diggin' U2 waaaay before Juliana was born and probably before Spunky Mama was even in school...I love Bono....I have a wristband for ONE....I used to listen to War on my walkman :). And that is why I'm going to be tolerant and forgive the trash talk about my red hot boys.
    Sardine Mama

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  12. And yes, I imagine John could have looked a little Axel-ish with his straightened hair. It is nice to know he had straight hair that week. I did not. I had frizzy hair. Because Ellie had taken my flat iron and apparently made good use of it turning john into a rock star.
    Sardine Mama

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  13. yay! a fellow lover of U2! thank you SpunkyMama!

    so miss carol, are you ditching the Chili Peppers then? you have to admit that Bono has a ton more talent than the dude from RHCP,AND he works for social justice! *stares dreamily in to space imagining Bono*

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