Help! Under Attack!

Help us!! We are under attack! For days on end they just keep coming and coming and coming......gigantic killer tomatoes! Some of them are uniquely formed earning them the title of butt tomatoes. I HATE that word. My mother taught us to say "behind, bottom, rear end....." and butt was a bad word. Yet, it is spoken in my house and I shall earnestly and enthusiastically blame this on the children's friends : ). Anyway - what to do when under the attack of ferocious killer butt tomatoes? Make tomato soup! mmmmm mmmmm good. I shall print my delicious recipe at the bottom (see how I didn't say butt?) of the post.

Speaking of the butt issue....I have a childhood friend (who will recognize herself in this story) whose mother also considered it crude to say butt. She has, as have I, passed this genteel butt restriction on to her own boys. When our boys were playing together one of them (surely it was one of hers) used the word "butt" to which I replied "we don't say butt". Actually, since I was the one responding it might have been one of my boys.....Anyway - my friend's son was like, "You can't say butt? Oh my gosh! WE can't say butt, either!" Oh what a wonderful moment it was. I thought they were all going to weep. "We are not alone! We are truly not alone in this torturesome restriction that makes us the butt of jokes! Oh excuse us, we mean the gluteus maximus of jokes!" There were hugs and bonding all the way around. Then one of my boys said he had to go pee. There was an awkward moment of silence. Finally, my friend's son said, "We can't say pee."

"Oh God," I thought. This was one word restriction I had suffered as a child. How many times did I explain to stunned adults that I needed to "urinate"? Urinate! No kid should have to say urinate....geez. I let my kids say pee. I waited for the child to explain that he had to say "urinate" but to my relief (and this is some bizarre rationalization on my friend's part) he said, "We have to say pee pee."

My son picked up on this and immediately tried to use it to his advantage. "Mom, can we say butt butt?"

Anyway, back to the tomatoes. I cooked tomato soup for what seemed like all day but my husband pointed out was more like an hour. He is the cook in our house. I used to like to cook but now it is just one of the many tedious activities of my day that keeps me from reaching my true potential : ). I took some to my friend, Janet, who has just had a baby. She looked beautiful and the baby is precious, of course. I enjoyed hearing the story of her son's beautiful water birth, which took place in the comfort and holiness of their family bedroom (attachment parents). I love to hear birth stories. Maybe I will write a book of birth stories.....

BTW - speaking of births - if any of you are considering birthing options you might want to check out the video "The Business of Being Born". You have probably heard a lot about it (it is somewhat controversial to mainstream birthing practitioners) but reserve your judgement until you've seen it. I've listed it with my other Amazon items I believe in.

And also BTW - speaking of books and such....I am going to be attending the Writer's League of Texas Agents Conference in Austin in a couple of weeks. I will be pitching my book. I am so nervous! Like I totally don't know anybody and there is all this pressure to network and mingle and pitch....I'm probably going to lock myself in my room and watch HBO for 3 days.

Share my blog with your friends and online groups! The more traffic I get the more "me" I'll have to pitch to agents (if I ever manage to come out of my hotel room).

Back to more important things: It looks like the Killer Tomatoes are not letting up. We have an entire row of these things! I am going to have to get the pressure cooker from Jeff's bother, Pee Wee. My kids used to call him Uncle Wee Wee, which for some reason the family considered worse than Pee Wee.

The boys have a bumper crop of basil, weeds, and grass growing in their herb garden.

Carol's "Killer" Tomato Soup (this makes a gigantica stock pot - trim it down if you don't need that much)

4 Tlb olive oil

3 onions, finely chopped
A (head?) of celery...you know...all the stalks
4 shredded carrots
Approximately 16 tomatoes, crudely (i like to say crude rather than coarse) chopped
A handfull of fresh basil, chopped
9 cups of vegetable stock (I use the organic kind in the boxes)
2 cups of half and half (you knew there had to be something bad in here)
3 TBL of salt
1/2 cup of sugar
Heat the oil in the stock pot and saute the onion, celery, and carrots until vegetables are tender. Add tomatoes and basil and simmer for awhile, until everything is tender. Here is the unpleasant part: Transfer all of this into a really big bowl, and then begin scooping it into the blender. Blend (in portions) and pour back into the stock pot. You need to do this in smallish portions and be careful as it is hot and you don't want to blow the lid off of your blender and aquire 3rd degree burns which will make you want to sue me. In fact, here is my disclaimer: "The hot bubbly soup that has been simmering on your stove is, in fact, really hot. Should you dump a bunch of it into your blender and then blow the lid off of your blender you will acquire serious burns to your person and possibly other persons in your general vicinity. Sardine Mama is not responsible for lapses in judgment of the readership." There. Liability taken care of. NOW: Once all of the tomato mixture is pureed and back in your stock pot - add the vegetable broth, salt, and sugar. Right before it simmers, add the half and half, stirring constantly. Allow to simmer for about 10 minutes or so.....then enjoy with some crusty bread. We like to sprinkle a little Parmesan on our soup.

Yay! Cinderella is home and unenthusiastically washing dishes!



Enjoy!
Sardine Mama
PS In the course of writing this post I asked Jeff how to spell "gluteus maximus". He didn't know, of course. He also didn't ask me why I needed to spell gluteus maximus and this says something about him, me, or both of us. I'm not sure what, though.

Tutus and Prayers for the Tooth Fairy

News Today: My Escape from Mommydom (otherwise known as Child Abuse Prevention Weekend) has fallen apart. So I am not going to the beach. Very sad. I am so deserving....

Camille's dance recital was last night! She was adorable. I actually dished out cash to get her hair done. Poor baby. I am not a "hair mama". We don't own curlers and I don't even know where to buy the cement stuff that gets sprayed on the curls. So I took her to Jocelyn at "Curl Up and Dye" and she turned her into a little star. However with the wind and humidity..... These pics are taken at the dress rehearsal. They are the nervous "before" pic and the thrilled "after" pic of "My Best."

As I mentioned in a previous post, Camille never really bothered to learn all of her dance steps. In the dressing room last night (a classroom at the local highschool where the recital is held) her dance buddies were practicing their moves. I asked Camille if she would like to practice and she said, "No, but I would like some more lipstick." That pretty much summed it up.

These pics are of her dancing in her sailor suit to "Codfish Ball" at the rehearsal and then of her in the dressing room last night. Further down is a video of a little bit of "My Best" at the rehearsal and some pics with friends.

Ellie also took dance at Camille's age and she was a great dancer and knew all the steps. She was the girl all the other girls watched to see what to do next. But she quit because of the recital stuff. She didn't like the costume because it was itchy, tight, loose, bumpy, confining etc etc.....when I approached her with lipstick she had a cow. She still doesn't wear makeup or anything on her face at all. So these two are quite different from each other : )

Camille lost her front tooth on the way to the recital. What a relief! It had been hanging on by a thread for weeks and was literally flopping around everytime she moved...it improved her appearance dramatically to have the thing finally come out! The tooth fairy, however, forgot to come last night. Camille was disappointed. That dang fairy! We have heard from a reliable source (otherwise known as Grandpa the Dentist) that the tooth fairy has a slight substance abuse problem and some nights are better than others. She was doing really great for awhile....but apparently she has suffered a small setback. Hopefully she'll be back on the wagon soon. Maybe she'll even come tonight. For some reason, she seems to be getting worse because she NEVER failed to come for Ellie or Joel. Did I mention, by the way, that I still know all of the dance steps and words to the song "Wee Rockettes" which was Ellie's first dance recital performance? On the other hand, I can't even remember what song Camille danced to last year....I also know exactly how much Ellie and Joel weighed upon their births, as well as their lengths, and all I know about Jasper is that he was about 7 pounds and of average length : ) What does all of this have to do with the Tooth Fairy? Hmmmm......

Parenthood: What a Journey!

Well, as you can see I am having a hard time deciding on a template to use for the blog. But I did figure out a way to get Amazon books on here! Check out the right hand side of the page where I recommend Alphie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting and Dr. Sears' Nighttime Parenting. These are the two books I wish I had used with Ellie and Joel when they were babies.

My parenting style has completely changed with the last 3 children. When Ellie was born I was 27. I was the first one of my friends to have a baby. I was still working and traveling and thought I could do it all - we had all been told so our entire lives, right? Well, Jeff travelled with work and I travelled with work and that left us in a pickle. Plus I was really depressed because I wanted to stay home so badly. On top of it - I didn't feel like I was parenting properly. Everything we were supposed to be doing seemed to make Ellie miserable. She didn't want to be put down. She didn't sit happily in the little car seat bucket in the grocery cart or anywhere else. The crib was her torture chamber. Yet I had had a huge baby shower and received all of these baby things that I saw mothers everywhere using.....and all she wanted was to be held! What a "bad" baby. And a "selfish" baby! I would do as suggested by professionals - so many minutes on the left breast, so many on the right....then she was supposed to be happy for 2 more hours. She wanted to nurse longer than that. She was also "manipulative" in that she wanted to be carried and would cry to get her way. When she was 9 months old I was able to quit my job and be home with her full-time. We joined a playgroup when she was about 14 months old. This group was full of "good" babies and "good" moms - all of whom had their babies trained and on schedules. I saw my inability to do this to be a sign of my own lack of consistency and will-power which as you can imagine, made me feel really good about myself : ). We are talking about the "Cry it Out" days. Ellie could cry the entire night - she really could. Was that good for her or her parents? No. But the goal was to keep her in her crib. If she slept in our bed, the experts said we would never get her out. EVER. If I had had a brain in my head, I would have known this was an impossibility -but I didn't. I only had "experts" in my head. The first book I read that was a turning point for me was "Raising Your Spirited Child." It helped me see Ellie in a new and delightful way, but still didn't address meeting her specific needs as a way to meet my own.

When Joel was born God was looking out for me. Joel was "the baby in the books". Hooray! Joel sat in the bucket. Joel slept in a crib. Joel didn't nurse well and so I was immediately encouraged to bottle-feed him, which I did. Ellie, in the meantime, became worse and worse. She was still trying to get my attention and direct me to a new path that would ultimately lead to a happier and more peaceful home and (here's a concept) a kinder and gentler world, maybe? Imagine what the world would be like if everyone stopped believing everyone else was manipulative and selfish. Imagine the world if we all stopped trying to control what everyone else did and instead focused on appropriate responses to legitimate needs. I mean, really....would there be world hunger? Or war, for that matter? Hmmmm......

At this point the Universe surprised me with Jules. I thought I had evolved into a better, more experienced parent. I had a perfect "scheduled" baby and one I had screwed up and was trying to fix. That wasn't going to happen again because now I was experienced. God is a funny. I mean really, totally hysterical. And speaking of hysterical - that is how Jules arrived and pretty much summed up his personality. He didn't care about my experience or that fact that I was now an expert at parenting. What saved his life was my sheer exhaustion. If the only way everyone was able to sleep at night was for me to nurse him (gasp) in bed, then that was what I did. If the only way to get him to stop crying was to take him out of the bucket and (gasp) wear him, then that was what I did. And immediately - I KNEW that I was doing the right thing and I no longer cared what experts said. By the time I was pregnant with Camille I had decided experts were the enemy.

With my newly found sense of self - I had the nerve to walk out on an appointment with my obstetrician who had delivered Jules. He was basically a know-it-all, patronizing, jerk who had OBVIOUSLY never had a baby. I found a doctor who believed in natural birthing. And then I had the best pregnancy and delivery I had ever had. It turns out that when I had wanted to push with the first 3 and was told to "hold it" - I actually could have been pushing. Which was what my body was telling me to do. It turns out I didn't need an IV. I didn't need to dehydrate and starve myself during the most exhausting and energy-consuming activity of labor, I didn't need an episiotomy (I was literally formed by a Source who had reproduction in mind) and I didn't need pain medication if I was allowed to move and put myself in the instinctive positions that enabled labor to progress comfortably....

Camille went straight onto my chest where she remained for the next two years (if she wasn't being worn by her father). I learned there was a name for the parenting style we found ourselves practicing and it wasn't called "lazy, inconsistent, or sinful" - it was called Attachment Parenting. By the time Jasper was born I was so in control that I barely felt the need for a doctor at all. I had another beautiful natural birth, although this time it was at Methodist hospital and I had several issues with them and wish I had had a homebirth. That would make up another post : ).

So Attachment Parenting turned into Homeschooling that turned into Unschooling that has turned into some unique and wonderful children who I am certain will go out and make the world a slightly better place, someday.

Maybe tomorrow I will be up to posting more about Unconditional Parenting and Attachment Parenting and Unschooling....and how we make versions of these philosophies work for our family (we are not purists in any school of thought or methodology.....here's where that word "inconsistent" comes in again). Although it occurs to me that my next post should be more light hearted : ).

Tonight is Camille's dance recital. The boys are devastated. But right now they are being highly cooperative in an effort to prove to me that they are not letting the new PS2 take over their lives. It is really funny. As soon as I ask them to do anything they hit "pause" and hop to it. "See, Mom? We can walk away. Really we can..." Then they walk out the door backwards still staring at the screen and drooling slightly.

I am going to try and put some pics on the site, now. I am learning so much with the blog. I want to find a template that will let me put "stuff" on either side of the journaling. I have seen it on other blogs but haven't managed to figure it out...
Sardine Mama

Spills, Internal vs External Controls, Anxiety on the Toilet

Ellie comes home today! Yay! The team placed 11th at the World Tournament!

I suspect our princess will be cranky and tired. She will also not be liberally forthcoming with information. Like her dad, she does not believe in using any words that are not absolutely necessary. When she came back from London we were like, "How was it?" and she was like, "Fine." So I will have to extract information, somewhat painfully, over the next few days.

We just got back from Tae Kwon Do. Usually Ellie babysits while I take the boys to this class, because it lasts 1 1/2 hours and I just sit in the car. But today I had to take the two little ones and what fun that was! Jasper needed to go to the bathroom so we drove to a convenience store. While in the bathroom, Camille decided she needed to go. Then I decided I needed to go. This bathroom had no stalls - just a room with a toilet and a sink with a door that opened up into the store. The doorknob unlocked when you opened it from the inside. I HATE THIS SITUATION. The local library is set up the same way. You have never experienced true anxiety until you have sat on a toilet, facing a door while a young child continues to gently run his hands over the doorknob again and again and again......of course, the tension this causes makes it difficult to end the agony by finishing up. When that experience was over we headed to the car "fully loaded with snacks and supplies" as the Chili Peppers would say. Jasper spilled his chocolate milk while I was buckling him into his carseat. While I was fussing at him about this and feeling sorry for myself while thinking about how I could have quit at 2 kids and be at home arranging flowers or something instead of cleaning up chocolate milk - I spilled my coffee all over myself. I love these little wake-up calls. The Universe's little way of reminding me that anyone can spill milk, I am lucky to have ALL of my great kids, and it is very unlikely I would ever, in a million years, spend my spare time arranging flowers.

We are back home and the 3 youngest are back in the splashy pool. Joel is back on the computer, playing some mythology game he has become obsessed with. I am dreading the return of the PS2 - they broke their old one and a new one should be arriving today : (. I know this will spur an intense obsession with PS2 because the boys haven't played in a long time. I let them play, though. They will eventually tire of it and then they'll be back to disappearing for hours and hours and hours on our farm, fishing in the pond, climbing trees, playing in the cattle pens, working in the garden.....I try to give them as much control over their own lives as possible, while keeping an ongoing conversation running about how we spend our time and how we feel after doing certain activities (Joel is always lethargic and moody after hours on the computer). I am hoping that in the long run - their own internal controls will kick in. The external controls (mom and dad) only work as long as the external controls are around. The internal controls make more sense. I think some kids never learn internal control because they are so dependent upon the external ones....

Enough about that for now. Maybe tomorrow I will talk more about parenting without limits/punishments - how I feel about the reality of it versus the philosophy of it......would love to hear from others about this.

As soon as I can figure it out - I'll be linking to Amazon. There are some great books on the subject.

I am so excited Ellie is coming home! AND she is bringing my flat iron with her!! I have very curly, unruly hair and rely on my flat iron. Ellie has very very short hair and only straightens the front bangs which hang in her face. But she couldn't go to Worlds without the flat iron to perform this ritual. This is her only girlie ritual (if you could call it that) - no make-up, nail polish, etc.....so I felt I couldn't refuse. But I will be glad to have some control over my hair, again.

Oh! And congratulations to Janet on the homebirth of her little baby boy! I cannot wait to see him and hear the story. And JoDee - I saw you popped in on my blog : ). It is true that you heard me say that Van Halen is the best band that ever was - but that was during a momentary lapse into nostalgia brought on by the reuinion concert (I'm wearing my t-shirt right now). The Chili Peppers are the best band that ever was or ever will be : ). I value your opinions, though, because you truly play a mean guitar. The last time you were over here playing I said to your kid (the one with the really long hair and sandals) "Dude, your mom plays good." And he was like, "I know, right?"

I do really wish I was gong to see Tom Petty, though. But one can only waste so much money on concert tickets while raising 5 kids and tring to feed and clothe them all. And feeding them has become expensive! Maybe tomorrow I will also talk about rising food costs and the world food shortage.....
Sardine Mama

New Plan to Get Rich

Well - the kids are already out in the splashy pool. It is unbelievably hot! I believe we hit 98 yesterday. It is going to be a long, brown summer.

You know that Schlitterbahn commercial where the unenthusiastic kids are sitting in a splashy pool with like 2 inches of water while watching a Schlitterbahn commercial through the window? That is what Jules looks like right now. He is too old to be sitting in a splashy pool. The other two are having fun, though. We have thrown away 3 of the expensive gigantic portable pools with pumps, ladders, etc. because the cats kept poking holes in the rings beyond repair. They were obsessed with drinking out of the pool. For what we spent on those we could have bought a real above-ground pool. Maybe next year.

I would post some pics of the splashy pool frivolity but Ellie has my camera's chip in her camera and she is in Maryland at the Odyssey of the Mind World Tournament. She called from the Lincoln Memorial yesterday and is having a blast! They find out tonight how they did. The big awards ceremony is tonight. They had a big audience at their performance because people had been watching them set up their stuff for a couple of days and wanted to come see it. They had 2 amazing Rube Goldberg machines and a freakin' escalator that was started by one of the Rube Goldberg machines. The machine also turned on an MP3 Player that was hooked to an amp that played Stairway to Heaven while the escalator moved...pretty cool. The Singapore buddy team was in the audience cheering for them. But the kids don't think they'll place - competition is stiff and they had some mishaps with meeting problem parameters. But the neat part is that they don't care and they are having fun fun fun! When they came out of their spontaneous competition a Polish team was waiting to surprise them with a cheer. Ellie and friends had been up until 4:00 the previous night and this enthusiasm scared the crap out of them : )

Ellie comes home tomorrow YAY!! I will have my dishwasher and babysitter back! Everyone knows I just had all these kids to make my life easier. That plan kinda sorta backfired but that's ok because I have a new plan now. After receiving economic stimulation in the form of a government check it occurred to us that if we only had 5 or so more kids we would have gotten a REALLY big check. So that is the plan, now. The kids will make us rich. We'll get more help for college and everything! Isn't this a good plan? I'm signing off, now. Gotta go get pregnant. Why didn't I think of this before? DUH. Way better than contributing to a 401K - and more fun, too! I am so smart.
Sardine mama

The Journey Hasn't Ended

Well, the vacation is over but the journey isn't : ) I had so much fun "blogging" while on our trip that I'm going to continue doing it. Anyone bored with the humdrum of their own lives can come here and read about the humdrum of mine!

We still haven't completely unpacked the trailer from the trip and in fact, the kids are often wandering out there to look for socks, etc. But we're planning a trip to the beach in July and will be forced to clean it out by then (in order to fill it up with more stuff).

We miss our vacation!! John Michael just brought over some absolutely gorgeous prints he made of 3 of the photos from the trip. He did them in black and white (Ansel Adams style) and they are breathtaking. We're like, "Did we take those????" Two are of Yosemite waterfalls and one is of an apple blossom on one of Mark and Rita's trees. I need to frame them. They were intended to hang in my meditation nook above my little water fountain but they turned out so well that I'm not sure that I want to hide them away.

Ellie was home for a very short time before heading off to Baltimore to compete with her Odyssey of the Mind team at the World Finals. She left yesterday and I talked to her last night and she was happy but exhausted. There are a few glitches (they are stuck reassembling their things in a parking garage and their Singapore buddy team was placed in a different dorm) but she is excited and having a good time. They are competing against their Polish buddy team from last year! So that will be fun. The Polish team won 1st last year (in a different category).

Our "school year" is winding down THANK GOD. We are down to our end-of-the year stuff. Camille has a dance recital next Friday and I have some work to do on her costume and I am totally not good at that sort of thing. Camille doesn't really know the dance routines but doesn't seem concerned about it at all. The girl is all about tutus and lipstick. Joel just earned his orange belt in tae kwon do - Jules will try for his next month. Ellie has a couple of piano recitals in June. Even I have rather gigantic plans: I am getting to escape mommydom next weekend! Twice a year (when I'm not breastfeeding) I go off without kiddos. These excursions are also known as "child abuse prevention weekends". Jeff and I will head to Corpus Christi. He will work calling on local hospitals and I will work on a tan and a few margaritas. yahoo!!!! Several local volunteers have to work to make this event possible and they shall be justly rewarded in heaven.

I plan on posting pics....recipes....humor......whatever! Feel free to "visit" and comment from time to time!

Sardine Mama

We're Home!

We made it home! If you haven't read the previous post there are great pics of the Gila Cave Dwellings....

Schnitzel is a very happy weiner dog. Diane did a great job looking after the house. It was lovely to come home to a clean house with live plants......

Our corn and tomatos are thrice the size as when we left. We have baby swallows in all the nests. The guinea pigs are whistling. The cat had a fight while we were gone and I'm running him to the vet in the morning - lots of scratches and a nasty ear. Our barn is full of pigs. Someone (Jeff's brother?) caught a mess of wild pigs and they are apparently being fattened up in the barn.

Ellie has been banging on the piano, Joel is on the computer, the other 3 are running around in their dress-up clothes and Jules is spinning......

We are glad to be home but it was an awesome trip and we will not hesitate to do it again if we are able. Tomorrow we'll unpack and go through the mail. It is really humid - how do you folks stand it???

THANKS FOR GOING ON THE TRIP WITH US!
Love,
Carol (former sardine mama)